Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Globe and Mail Project: #12, Business Grads Unharmed in Grape Avalanche

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Unsuspecting business school grads were caught

in an avalanche of giant grapes yesterday, while

touring a winery adjacent to a major nuclear facility.

While no one was injured in the incident, experts

agreed that many of the stains would never come out.

My Globe and Mail delivery resumed today, so here is my collage from today's newspaper. As for my musings on Monday, about whether or not there were still young newspaper carriers, this was in the Globe today:

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Globe and Mail Project: #11, Life continues despite Globe oversight

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Life continues despite "Globe" oversight
"I just have to carry on as if everything
is normal", said the man, his voice betraying
little emotion.
After three consecutive days of missed delivery
on a free three month subscription many would give up hope,
but this man remains optimistic.
"My chair is comfortable and I'm not waiting
in an airport", he said, "the world will
continue its steady demise with, or without
the Globe and Mail", he added.
Today was the third consecutive, and fourth day of the last twelve delivery days, that I did not receive my free paper. You get what you pay for?
I was unable to reach the subscription department at the Globe yesterday, but the polite and efficient representative that I spoke with today (after speaking with the robot man, having my call redirected and waiting on hold for aproximately 5 minutes) assured me that the wrinkle would be ironed out and I will receive my newspaper tomorrow.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Globe and Mail Project: #10, Waiting for the Globe

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Waiting for the Globe, with apologies to Samuel Beckett

Another day in limbo, as the Globe has not yet arrived. No matter, 90 days of collage will continue as long as there is hope that some day the paper will arrive again. Today's collage is made from Dec. 23-24th's papers. I butchered some text from Waiting for Godot and I've managed two collages from the lovely A.Y. Jackson painting In Jasper Park from the cover of the Christmas Eve Edition.
So today, I was thinking about waiting for newspapers and was reminded of the days I delivered the Sudbury Star. For a long time they had circulation problems and the papers were constantly dropped off late to the carriers. After school, on cold winter days I would wait for hours outside the confectionery for my newspaper bundle to arrive while consuming my weight (and profits) in pop and chocolate bars. The customers would blame us for late delivery and withhold much needed tips. I'm not sure if there are paper boys, or girls anymore. Our paper is delivered by a man in a van with a faulty transmission (sometimes he has to run after his van and jump into it while it is moving). Maybe there are still kids who deliver the paper in Kirkland Lake?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Globe and Mail Project: #9, Happy Holidays

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Ecstatic royal-watchers look on as former PM
Jean Chretien and Queen Elizabeth II compare
last-minute purchases outside HEFT'S at the
Northgate mall.
This is day 9 of 90 Days of Collage using images from my free Globe and Mail subscription, and my Christmas Card to you! Happy holidays and safe travels to all. Collages will continue when the Globe delivery resumes on Monday . Cheers!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


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A passing lemur intervenes as informal talks on economic growth
between Lady Gaga and Finance Minister Jim Flaherty escalate into
a streetfight outside the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel.

This week's Illustration Friday topic is "undone", and Lady Gaga and Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty have definitely come undone in today's collage from my Globe and Mail project, 90 Days of collage. This is only day 8 and it is already the second celebrity dust-up involving the Finance Minister (see day 1). Am I repeating myself? First appearance of Lady Gaga, though...and the lemur.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Globe and Mail Project: #7, APPLE UNVEILES iPOD DESKTOP

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Undeterred by brutal weather conditions, eager holiday shoppers
came out in droves for the advanced release
of the new iPhone Desktop,
featuring big screen and large, easy-turn knobs.
This is day 7 of 90 days of collage, dedicated to all those who still haven't done their Christmas shopping.

Monday, December 21, 2009


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Couple flees as extremely rare white rhino
devestates another endangered heritage site.
"It's either the rhinos or the heritage sites", said one city official,
"we can't save them both".
So begins week 2 of my current project, 90 days of collage from the Globe and mail. Check in daily (Monday to Saturday) for collages made with clippings from each day's paper.

Sunday, December 20, 2009


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Suddenly the Board of Directors understood
the lacklustre support of the membership.
The Steward had confused the rose coloured glasses
with the spectacles of grim reality.
I am recieving The Globe and Mail for free for 90 days and am endeavoring to post one collage a day using images from the paper. This should be day 6, but my paper did not arrive on friday, so this is to replace my alternate programming from the previous day 5 post.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Globe and Mail: 90 Days of Collage, Day 5--Rain date!

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Chance of Showers

You know, I've been really psyched for this project. Alas, today the Globe and Mail did not arrive on my doorstep. I phoned the circulation number and the kindly robotic gentleman informed me that my subscription account would be credited one day, so 90 days of collage will continue, rain, snow, sleet or hail. It just may not be 90 consecutive days.

So to deal with my nervous energy and to fulfill my self-imposed task of one collage a day, I give you Chance of showers, another cereal-box collage which I completed today. It reflects the state of limbo one enters when putting too much faith in the weatherman.
Two consecutive days of elephant collages, you may well ask? Pure coincidence.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


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All right, Babar, you win.
Release hostage Peter Mansbridge
and we will attempt to meet your demands.
It won't be easy, though.
This whole damn country's gone peanut-free!

The Globe and Mail is sending me a 3 month subscription for free. Everyday I will be posting a collage using only images from that day's Newspaper. This is day four. I need a drink of water. Maybe some soup.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


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After hours of heightened anticipation, throngs of
invertebrate enthusiasts were rewarded by a fleeting
glimpse of the illusive and beautiful prairie octopus.

Illustration Friday: Hatch

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Hullo, Houston?
We seem to have landed on...
Hullo? Hullo?...
Mighty cold out here.

A bit of seasonal nostalgia for my heritage in the Eastern Townships of Quebec and time spent there during the "space race" era.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


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Acting on an anonymous tip, Police set up blockade as street-racing fiddlers speed toward city limits.

Monday, December 14, 2009


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Finance Minister Jim Flaherty appealed to muppet Kermit the frog and crooner Michael Buble last night, to end their dispute peacefully as riot police moved in on the agitated performers outside a crowded Tim Horton's in Leamington, sources confirmed.

This is the first collage of my 90 day Globe and Mail marathon. Imagine, Kermit, Buble, and Flaherty all at the same Timmy's at the same time.

The Globe and Mail Project - 90 days of collage

About 10 days ago, I got a phonecall with an offer to have The Globe and Mail delivered free for three months and it arrived on my doorstep this morning, as promised. Initially, I greeted the offer with a well crafted, curmudgeonly skepticism reserved specifically for telemarketers, but since I didn't have to surrender my credit card number, or provide any personal information beyond my delivery address, and the caller assured me that the paper would be cancelled after the three month period without any action on my part, I accepted.

Having the latest news delivered to my door in a form that is digestible over morning coffee is a luxury I have been doing without due to time and budgetary constraints. I love the newspaper, not only for the print, but for a wealth of pictures which are not so precious that I am afraid to cut them up for collage. It has also proved useful for cleaning windows, lining the catbox and creating small, paper mache animals.

To celebrate receiving the paper again, and as a thankyou to Canada's National Newspaper for free fodder, I am embarking on a project where I will post a collage a day for the next 90 days, using images from The Globe and Mail.

Please note that this is a personal project and is not an endorsment of The Globe and Mail newspaper as a product; neither has The Globe and Mail endorsed me or any of the content that may appear in the aforementioned collages. See you in the funny papers.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Illustration Friday: Crunchy

collage and paint on orange crate
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When the Nutcracker arrived at the office Christmas party,
the usually affable Mr. Peanut headed for the nearest exit.
There was something about that Nutcracker guy...

I have to say that this week's IF topic, Crunchy, left me a little cold, but Mr. Peanut had been staring at me from the recycling box, and K had taken our youngest to The Nutcracker on the weekend, so as the French say, voila!?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Illustration Friday: Entangled

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collage and paint on cereal box
Undeniably fashionable, his hair-do was, nonetheless, ill-suited to his job
as Press-Operator
While this is, perhaps, not the best representation of this weeks IF topic: entangled, the potential for entanglement is implicit.