Globe and Mail Project: #25 WALL STREET EXEC'S OWN THE PODIUM

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Wall Street executives appointed themselves to the

US Olympic stair-climbing squad yesterday, making

them the first and only Olympians in the newest

demonstration sport.

The four bankers appealed successfully to the IOC,

claiming it was unfair that millionaire hockey players

were eligible for medals, while banking officials

were shut out of the Olympics completely.

As there were no challengers for the stair-climbing

event, the foursome immediately claimed their medals

at the podium then proceeded to the bar.

Welcome to day #25 of the Globe and Mail Project. Each day for three months I'll be taking the scissors and glue-stick to Canada's National Newspaper and editing it for your consumption. Feedback on Blogger or by email is welcome!

Globe and Mail Project: #24 OLYMPIC FLAME TORCHES POPCORN FACTORY

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Controversy continued to dog the Olympic Torch Relay

as a flash from two torches ignited an abandoned

popcorn factory outside North Battleford yesterday.

VANOC officials were quick to commend the community

for their organized cleanup, and the local Jumbo Video

for providing free videos to the volunteers.

Since kindergarten, we've been told that running with scissors is a dangerous thing. 12,000 people running across the land with fiery sticks? You be the judge. Two other collages from this series involving the olympic torch: GOOGLE TORCH CAM and NEW YEAR'S EVE TURF WAR BLACKENS EYE OF OLYMPIC TORCH RELAY. Incidentally, there is an Olympic torch cam on the CTV website so that you can follow the torch, accomapanied by a google map entitled "Where is the Torch Now". The webcam is actually mounted on the truck and not on the torch itself.

Welcome to day #24 of the Globe and Mail Project. Each day for three months I'll be taking the scissors and glue-stick to Canada's National Newspaper and editing it for your consumption. Feedback on Blogger or by email is welcome!

Globe and Mail Project: #23 MOUNTING EVIDENCE REBUKED BY LEADERS

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Despite mounting evidence to the contrary,

Prime Minister Stephen Harper and

Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff continue

to deny that they are robots from another

galaxy sent to destroy our world.

Welcome to day #23 of the Globe and Mail Project. Each day for three months I'll be taking the scissors and glue-stick to Canada's National Newspaper and editing it for your consumption. Feedback on Blogger or by email is welcome!

Globe and Mail Project: #22, PM TWITTERING ABOUT NEW CLOCK

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Prime Minister Stephen Harper took

advantage of the prorogued Parliament

to have "that rusty old clock" on

the Peace Tower replaced with a jumbo

iPod.

In his first "tweet to the nation",

the PM declared that the tower would

henceforth be known as the Apple iPod

Tower and that he would conduct all

future communication with Canadians

via Twitter.

Welcome to day #22 of the Globe and Mail Project. Each day for three months I'll be taking the scissors and glue-stick to Canada's National Newspaper and editing it for your consumption. Feedback on Blogger or by email is welcome!

Globe and Mail Project: #21, FLYING CANOE TAKES AUTO INDUSTRY BY SURPRISE

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FLYING CANOE TAKES AUTO INDUSTRY BY SURPRISE

After decades of auto manufacturers heel dragging

over the advent of the flying car, the first

flying canoe soared off the assembly line to

the cheers of tire kickers below.

"The Voyageurs once travelled this great land

by canoe", said company President Jacques LeBoeuf,

"now we can paddle the skies!"

Collage #21 of my Globe and Mail Project: deconstructing Canada's National Newspaper and putting it back together to try and make sense of the world.

Globe and Mail Project: #20, FULL-BODY SCANNERS TO BE USED ON POLAR BEARS

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Scientists have been given the green light

to employ full-body scanners at northern

airports to monitor the diets of polar bears.

Airport security was quick to approve the

pilot project which would enable officers to

determine if the bears had eaten anyone who

posed a terrorist threat.

Today's collage is #20 of my daily 3 month long, Globe and Mail Project.

Globe and Mail Project: #19, LAST MINUTE SHOPPERS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DEALS AT END OF WORLD EVENT

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Last minute shoppers took advantage of

unprecedented deals this morning

at Costco's gigantic END OF WORLD SALE.

"I'll get that alligator purse if it's

the last thing I do", yelled one woman

over the crowd as a man sprinted toward

the cash with a cart full of toilet paper.

Today's freshly pasted collage is #19 from my Globe and Mail Project. Each day of my free, three month subscription, I'll be deconstructing Canada's National Newspaper and reassembling it to try to make sense of it all. Hmmm, another shopping collage? See ROYAL WATCHERS SPOT QUEEN OUTSIDE NORTHGATE MALL and FOUL WEATHER SHOPPERS LINE UP FOR iPHONE DESKTOP.

Globe and Mail Project: #18, POLICE ON TRICYCLES ROUND UP YOUNG OFFENDERS

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Police on tricycles rounded up young

offenders during a massive sting

operation yesterday.

While none of the infants were remanded

in custody, many had to sit out for

infractions ranging from roller skating

without helmets to neglecting to use

hand sanitizer before snacks.

Collage #18 in my Globe and Mail project. One collage for each of the free newspapers delivered to me during my free, three month subscription to the Globe and Mail.

Globe and Mail Project: #17, TOWERING WOMAN IN PURPLE COAT STEALS THUNDER OF BURJ KHALIFA

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A towering woman in a purple coat

stole the thunder at the
grand opening of the world's
tallest structure in Dubai
yesterday.
Those on hand for the festivities
stared in wonder at the monumental
Englishwoman, who reportedly
muttered, "Not as high as it looks
on the telly, is it?"

Collage #17, from my Globe and Mail Project; daily collages from the pages of Canada's National Newspaper.

Globe and Mail Project: #16, TRICKY DICK REACHES FOR OLYMPIC GOLD IN VANCOUVER

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What happens when a disgraced US ex-president

rises from the ashes to clear his name, then chases

his dream of Olympic gold as captain of the Canadian bobsled team?

Dan Ackroyd IS Richard Nixon in CBC's rollicking new

mini-series, "DICKSLEDDING: VANCOUVER 2010".

*Best bobsled picture since "Cool Runnings".

-The Globe and Mail

This week's Illustration Friday topic is Renewal. In the 16th collage of my Globe and Mail Project, impeached and deceased President Richard Nixon gets a chance to clean up his besmirched image and rewrite his entry in the history books.

The Globe and Mail Project will continue Monday to Saturday for the length of my free Globe and Mail subscription. Each collage is made up of images from that day's newspaper. The supplementary text is courtesy of my Olivetti portable typewriter.

Globe and Mail Project: #15, Olympic Commercialism

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OLYMPIC COMMITTEE QUESTIONED OVER

COMMERCIALISM AS GOOGLE AFFIXES

NEW "EYE-BALL STREET VIEW CAM"

TO OLYMPIC TORCH.

Another Olympic torch collage for the 15th collage of my daily Globe and Mail Project. Incidentally, there is an Olympic torch cam on the CTV website so that you can follow the torch, accomapanied by a google map entitled "Where is the Torch Now". The webcam is actually mounted on the truck and not on the torch itself.

Globe and Mail Project: #14, NEW YEAR'S EVE TURF WAR BLACKENS EYE OF OLYMPIC TORCH RELAY

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Olimpic torchbearers squared off

New Year's Eve, after talks with

David Letterman failed to resolve

a dispute over coveted turf

along the route of the 45,000 km relay.

This is the 14th of my Globe and Mail collages which I will be making daily for the duration of my free 3 month subscription.

Globe and Mail Project: #13, TELUS TREE FROG LATEST CELEBRITY TO BE ROCKED BY SCANDAL

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After video of red-eyed wassail surfaced on

the internet last weekend, Telus was quick to

dispatch the heretofore squeaky clean tree frog

from their campaign. An official from Telus

would only say that its subscribers expected

behaviour more befitting an arboreal tailless

amphibian.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! This my first post of the new year and the last of my Globe and Mail collages for 2009. As there is no paper today, collages will continue for the duration of my 3 month Globe and Mail subscription.

Globe and Mail Project: #12, Business Grads Unharmed in Grape Avalanche

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Unsuspecting business school grads were caught

in an avalanche of giant grapes yesterday, while

touring a winery adjacent to a major nuclear facility.

While no one was injured in the incident, experts

agreed that many of the stains would never come out.

My Globe and Mail delivery resumed today, so here is my collage from today's newspaper. As for my musings on Monday, about whether or not there were still young newspaper carriers, this was in the Globe today:

Globe and Mail Project: #11, Life continues despite Globe oversight

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Life continues despite "Globe" oversight

"I just have to carry on as if everything

is normal", said the man, his voice betraying

little emotion.

After three consecutive days of missed delivery

on a free three month subscription many would give up hope,

but this man remains optimistic.

"My chair is comfortable and I'm not waiting

in an airport", he said, "the world will

continue its steady demise with, or without

the Globe and Mail", he added.

Today was the third consecutive, and fourth day of the last twelve delivery days, that I did not receive my free paper. You get what you pay for?

I was unable to reach the subscription department at the Globe yesterday, but the polite and efficient representative that I spoke with today (after speaking with the robot man, having my call redirected and waiting on hold for aproximately 5 minutes) assured me that the wrinkle would be ironed out and I will receive my newspaper tomorrow.

The Globe and Mail Project: #10, Waiting for the Globe

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Waiting for the Globe, with apologies to Samuel Beckett

Another day in limbo, as the Globe has not yet arrived. No matter, 90 days of collage will continue as long as there is hope that some day the paper will arrive again. Today's collage is made from Dec. 23-24th's papers. I butchered some text from Waiting for Godot and I've managed two collages from the lovely A.Y. Jackson painting In Jasper Park from the cover of the Christmas Eve Edition.

So today, I was thinking about waiting for newspapers and was reminded of the days I delivered the Sudbury Star. For a long time they had circulation problems and the papers were constantly dropped off late to the carriers. After school, on cold winter days I would wait for hours outside the confectionery for my newspaper bundle to arrive while consuming my weight (and profits) in pop and chocolate bars. The customers would blame us for late delivery and withhold much needed tips. I'm not sure if there are paper boys, or girls anymore. Our paper is delivered by a man in a van with a faulty transmission (sometimes he has to run after his van and jump into it while it is moving). Maybe there are still kids who deliver the paper in Kirkland Lake?

Globe and Mail Project: #9, Happy Holidays

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Ecstatic royal-watchers look on as former PM

Jean Chretien and Queen Elizabeth II compare

last-minute purchases outside HEFT'S at the

Northgate mall.

This is day 9 of 90 Days of Collage using images from my free Globe and Mail subscription, and my Christmas Card to you! Happy holidays and safe travels to all. Collages will continue when the Globe delivery resumes on Monday . Cheers!

Globe and Mail: #8, GAGA, FLAHERTY CONFRONTATION ESCALATES

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A passing lemur intervenes as informal talks on economic growth

between Lady Gaga and Finance Minister Jim Flaherty escalate into

a streetfight outside the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel.

This week's Illustration Friday topic is "undone", and Lady Gaga and Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty have definitely come undone in today's collage from my Globe and Mail project, 90 Days of collage. This is only day 8 and it is already the second celebrity dust-up involving the Finance Minister (see day 1). Am I repeating myself? First appearance of Lady Gaga, though...and the lemur.

Globe and Mail Project: #7, APPLE UNVEILES iPOD DESKTOP

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Undeterred by brutal weather conditions, eager holiday shoppers

came out in droves for the advanced release

of the new iPhone Desktop,

featuring big screen and large, easy-turn knobs.

This is day 7 of 90 days of collage, dedicated to all those who still haven't done their Christmas shopping.

Globe and Mail Project: #6, ENDANGERED ANIMALS OR HERITAGE SITES, CITY MUST CHOOSE

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Couple flees as extremely rare white rhino

devestates another endangered heritage site.

"It's either the rhinos or the heritage sites", said one city official,

"we can't save them both".

So begins week 2 of my current project, 90 days of collage from the Globe and mail. Check in daily (Monday to Saturday) for collages made with clippings from each day's paper.

Globe and Mail Project: #5, POOR MEMBERSHIP SUPPORT BLAMED ON SPECTACLES

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Suddenly the Board of Directors understood

the lacklustre support of the membership.

The Steward had confused the rose coloured glasses

with the spectacles of grim reality.

I am recieving The Globe and Mail for free for 90 days and am endeavoring to post one collage a day using images from the paper. This should be day 6, but my paper did not arrive on friday, so this is to replace my alternate programming from the previous day 5 post.

Globe and Mail: 90 Days of Collage, Day 5--Rain date!

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Chance of Showers

You know, I've been really psyched for this project. Alas, today the Globe and Mail did not arrive on my doorstep. I phoned the circulation number and the kindly robotic gentleman informed me that my subscription account would be credited one day, so 90 days of collage will continue, rain, snow, sleet or hail. It just may not be 90 consecutive days.

So to deal with my nervous energy and to fulfill my self-imposed task of one collage a day, I give you Chance of showers, another cereal-box collage which I completed today. It reflects the state of limbo one enters when putting too much faith in the weatherman.

Two consecutive days of elephant collages, you may well ask? Pure coincidence.

Globe and Mail: #4, MANSBRIDGE HELD CAPTIVE BY BABAR

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All right, Babar, you win.

Release hostage Peter Mansbridge

and we will attempt to meet your demands.

It won't be easy, though.

This whole damn country's gone peanut-free!

The Globe and Mail is sending me a 3 month subscription for free. Everyday I will be posting a collage using only images from that day's Newspaper. This is day four. I need a drink of water. Maybe some soup.

The Globe and Mail Project: #3, INVERTEBRATE ENTHUSIASTS GLIMPSE PRARIE OCTOPUS

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After hours of heightened anticipation, throngs of

invertebrate enthusiasts were rewarded by a fleeting

glimpse of the illusive and beautiful prairie octopus.

Illustration Friday: Hatch

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Hullo, Houston?

We seem to have landed on...

Quebec?

Hullo? Hullo?...

Mighty cold out here.

A bit of seasonal nostalgia for my heritage in the Eastern Townships of Quebec and time spent there during the "space race" era.

Globe and Mail Project: #2, STREET RACING FIDDLERS SPEED TOWARD CITY

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Acting on an anonymous tip, Police set up blockade as street-racing fiddlers speed toward city limits.

The Globe and Mail Project: #1, FLAHERTY INTERVENES IN BUBLE, MUPPET DISPUTE

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Finance Minister Jim Flaherty appealed to muppet Kermit the frog and crooner Michael Buble last night, to end their dispute peacefully as riot police moved in on the agitated performers outside a crowded Tim Horton's in Leamington, sources confirmed.

This is the first collage of my 90 day Globe and Mail marathon. Imagine, Kermit, Buble, and Flaherty all at the same Timmy's at the same time.

The Globe and Mail Project - 90 days of collage

About 10 days ago, I got a phonecall with an offer to have The Globe and Mail delivered free for three months and it arrived on my doorstep this morning, as promised. Initially, I greeted the offer with a well crafted, curmudgeonly skepticism reserved specifically for telemarketers, but since I didn't have to surrender my credit card number, or provide any personal information beyond my delivery address, and the caller assured me that the paper would be cancelled after the three month period without any action on my part, I accepted.

Having the latest news delivered to my door in a form that is digestible over morning coffee is a luxury I have been doing without due to time and budgetary constraints. I love the newspaper, not only for the print, but for a wealth of pictures which are not so precious that I am afraid to cut them up for collage. It has also proved useful for cleaning windows, lining the catbox and creating small, paper mache animals.

To celebrate receiving the paper again, and as a thankyou to Canada's National Newspaper for free fodder, I am embarking on a project where I will post a collage a day for the next 90 days, using images from The Globe and Mail.

Please note that this is a personal project and is not an endorsment of The Globe and Mail newspaper as a product; neither has The Globe and Mail endorsed me or any of the content that may appear in the aforementioned collages. See you in the funny papers.

Illustration Friday: Crunchy

collage and paint on orange crate

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When the Nutcracker arrived at the office Christmas party,

the usually affable Mr. Peanut headed for the nearest exit.

There was something about that Nutcracker guy...

I have to say that this week's IF topic, Crunchy, left me a little cold, but Mr. Peanut had been staring at me from the recycling box, and K had taken our youngest to The Nutcracker on the weekend, so as the French say, voila!?

Illustration Friday: Entangled

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collage and paint on cereal box

Undeniably fashionable, his hair-do was, nonetheless, ill-suited to his job

as Press-Operator

While this is, perhaps, not the best representation of this weeks IF topic: entangled, the potential for entanglement is implicit.

101 Frames, Sat. Dec. 5, 2009

Here is my contribution to this year's fundraiser for Gallery 101, 101 Frames. Here is all the pertinent info.


GALLERY 101FRAMES- SILENT ART AUCTION AND PARTY - THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS PRIDE
Saturday, December 5, 2009, 7pm
Preview: December 3rd and 4th from 12pm – 9 pm 301 Bank Street Art Auction/Party: Saturday, December 5, 2008. Doors open at 7pm. Tickets: $10 at Gallery 101 or Mags & Fags or $15 at the door

PRIDE
On Saturday, December 5th, 2009, Gallery 101 will host the second of seven years of THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS. Each year artists interpret a different deadly sin. This year, G101 invited artists to make art that engages with the boldest sin in the bunch: PRIDE. We certainly want to show our PRIDE, and why not? This year, Gallery 101 is celebrating its 30th Anniversary of supporting Ottawa’s arts community, and we feel the need to brag, to boast, and to get a little narcissistic.

But that’s not the only way we are spicing it up. Other sinfully delightful features of this year’s event will be the best performance art, arrogant door prizes (including some very glorious big ticket items), and grand appetizers, all set to some choice tunes by the sauciest djs in a PRIDE-inspired setting. So come on out and show us you have PRIDE (for the arts) in Ottawa, indulge in a night of arts and culture, and support your local non-profit artist-run centre.

Proceeds from the auction help Gallery 101 maintain its services to artists and the community. This event is supported and made possible by our local artists, volunteers and friends. Special thanks to our sponsors Allen's Flowers, Bossarts - Beauty in Balance, Capital Xtra, Collected Works Bookstore, Giraffe The African Store, Hartman's Your Independent Grocer, Jack Of All Trades Design, La Bottega Nicastro Fine Food Shop, LaPointe's Seafood Grill Café, McAuslan Brewery, Mags & Fags, MediaStyle, Metro newspaper, Mikaza Home Modern Furniture, Patrick Gordan Framing, Pelee Island Winery, Pizza Shark, Pure Gelato, Schoeler & Heaton Architects Inc., Spins & Needles, The Scone Witch, The Village, The Works Gourmet Burger Bistro, Venus Envy, Vittoria Trattoria.

All frames generoulsy donated by FRAMES BY ROCKWELL. Gallery 101 greatly appreciates your support, which contributes to the long-term, financial stability and well being of the gallery.

Illustration Friday: Music

This is my entry for this week's IF topic "music" as well as my entry in the annual auction for Gallery 101, 101 Frames.

Just for the sake of context, Big Joe Mufferaw is the Canadian equivalent of American folk legend Paul Bunyan. Speaking of music, another Canadian Icon, Stompin' Tom Conners spins a few tales of the giant, French-Canadian lumberjack in his song "Big Joe Mufferaw".

Illustration Friday: Unbalanced

"Houses On My Street"

cereal box collage

These are all buildings in my neighbourhood. People move here because it has a "quaint", small-town feel. They buy quaint, small houses then knock them down and build ridiculously large houses . Unbalanced.

I'll be donating this piece to the annual fundraising auction at Saw Gallery, called Sketch, Friday, November 27, 8pm until 2am.

Illustration Friday: Skinny

This is a mini-collage, pasted on the back of a hockey card. I had some of those plastic membership card laminating sleeves lying around and thought it would be fun to make a wallet-sized collage. So here it is, Actual Size! I also used some wood-grained Mac-Tac that I've had around forever. My friend Katie, whose birthday it is, used to make the most fantastic and hilarious postage stamp collages with her brother many years ago. This is my hommage. Happy Birthday Katie!

Bicycle Chandeliers at the 2009 Lumiere Festival

I hung the chandeliers in the trees early in the day. Earlier in the week they had forcasted rain for the weekend, but it never transpired. It was a beautiful day and a fantastic evening. It was my first time at this festival, both as an artist and spectator. The beautiful handmade lanterns that lit up the pathway along the Rideau River, combined with stilt walkers, magicians, musicians, fortune tellers and fire jugglers made for a truly magical event.

Here are my three chandeliers, first in the daylight, then lit up at night.

Hours later, when the lanterns were lit, they took on a very different appearance.

Illustration Friday: Modify

Here is a sneak preview of one of the three chandeliers I will be exhibiting as part of the Lumiere Festival this Saturday Night at Stanley Park in Ottawa. It will be the first time I get to see all three lit up with candles, hanging in trees and displayed within about 30 metres of each other.

The chandeliers are made up of bike wheels and all manner of items that I have been collecting the past few months (some I've had for years). I've also had items donated from friends and neighbours. The candles are placed in jars of various sizes that hang from the spokes of the bike wheels. When lit, my hope is to illuminate the beauty in these everyday objects.